‘ Humble words and increased preparations are signs that the enemy is about to advance. Violent language and driving forward as if to the attack are signs that he will retreat. (Sun Tzu) ‘
‘ There is a time and place for use of weapons. (Miyamoto Musashi) ‘
Uw woordgebruik is een wapen, gebruik dit verstandig
Wat je zegt gedurende een gesprek met een potentiële agressor kan het verschil maken tussen een gewelddadige confrontatie of een de-escalerend situatie.
Een gezegde: Stenen en stokken kunnen uw beenderen breken, uw woorden kunnen echter dodelijk zijn.
Parabel :‘How flexible is the tongue, and how great is its power! It is related of a Persian king that his physicians ordered him to drink the milk of a lioness, and one of his servants offered to procure the rare medicine. Taking with him some sheep with which to lure the beast, he actually succeeded in obtaining milk from a lioness. On his journey homewards, being fatigued, he fell into a deep slumber, during which the various members of his body commenced disputing as to which of them had contributed most towards the success of their owner in obtaining so rare a thing as milk from a lioness. Said the feet: ‘There can be no doubt that we are the only factors in this successful undertaking. Without us there could have been no setting out on this dangerous venture.’ ‘Not so,’ said the hands, ‘the facility you offered would have been of no avail had our power not been called into requisition; it is the service we rendered that enabled our owner to procure milk from the lioness.’ ‘Neither of you could have rendered any service,’ exclaimed the eyes, ‘without the sight which we supplied.’ ‘And yet,’ interrupted the heart, ‘had not I inspired the idea, no steps would have been taken to bring any of your powers into exercise.’ At last the tongue put in her claim, and was utterly ridiculed by the unanimous opinions of all the other contending members of the body. ‘You,’ they scornfully replied, ‘you who have not the free power of action which is possessed by all and each of us, you who are imprisoned in the narrow space of the human mouth,–you dare to put in a claim to have contributed to this success! ‘In the midst of this contention the man woke up, and prosecuted his journey homewards. Being brought before the king with the much desired milk, the man, by a slip of the tongue, said, ‘Here I have brought your Majesty the dog’s milk.’ The savage king becoming incensed by this insulting remark, there and then ordered the man to be put to death. On the man’s way to execution, all the members of his body, heart, eyes, feet, and hands trembled and were terribly afraid. ‘Did I not tell you,’ said the tongue, I that my power is above all the united powers you possess? and you ridiculed me for my trouble. What think you of my power now? Are you now prepared to acknowledge my power to be greater than all yours?’ When all the members of the body consented to the tongue’s proposition, the tongue requested and obtained a short reprieve, so that it could make a last appeal for the king’s clemency. When the man was brought to the king his tongue started in all its eloquence. ‘Is this the reward,’ it began, ‘great and just king, to be meted out to the only one of your majesty’s servants who was glad of the opportunity to offer his life to fulfil his king’s desire, who gladly carried his life in his hand to obtain for his august master what scarcely ever was obtained by mortal man?’ ‘But,’ replied the king, ‘your own statement was that you brought me dog’s milk instead of the lioness’ milk which you undertook to procure.’ ‘Not so, O gracious king,’ replied the tongue, ‘I brought the identical milk that your majesty required; it was merely by an unfortunate mistake in my speech that I changed the name; and in fact there is a similarity, as the word כליא may mean either lioness or dog. My words will be verified if your majesty will condescend to make use of the milk I procured, for it will effect the cure your majesty desires.’ The milk was submitted to the test, and was found to be that of a lioness; and so the tongue triumphantly demonstrated its great power for good or for evil.’
Indien je fout bent, geef dit toe.
Soms is zwijgen beter dan spreken
Bij een nakende aanval kan je gebruik maken van een vraag om uw potentiële agressor te laten twijfelen. Tijdens dit ‘denkproces van uw agressor’ bestaat er de mogelijkheid om zelf in actie te treden (meer in de les).